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Polyamorous Relationships: Love Beyond Stereotypes

Polyamorous Relationships: Love Beyond Stereotypes

‘The more, the merrier’ doesn’t work well for all, especially in polyamory. Today, BestLifeTips will give you some important about this and why polyamorous relationships don’t work.

The idea of a polyamorous relationship can feel pretty different from the standard romance trait. Anyway, or put the pros and cons of them aside, do you know why polyamorous relationships don’t work? Let BestLifeTips share for you.

What is Polyamory?

Recently, lovers express themselves in their own ways and no relationship is the same.

While many believe that each person should look for a single soulmate, or should only have a romantic partner, at least once, some people don’t think so. They want to have a romantic relationship with many people at once. This is the source of existing polyamory.

The weird relationship has become an increasingly common topic of discussion.

However, most people have heard the term polyamory. If you want to know why polyamorous relationships don’t work, you must be clear on the meaning or how these non-monogamous relationships work.

What is Polyamory? Polyamory refers to loving over one person at the same time. It also differs from cheating because each person is aware of and consents to the arrangement.

Many often mis consider it the same as an open intimacy, but not always the case, according to the authors of the study published recently in Frontiers in Psychology.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: Insider

Specially, polyamorous relationships include of multiple loving partnerships but they follow certain rules. Just more lovers in a relationship than normal, and each partner is aware of the other. Polyamory is not usually sex-specific. Anyone can have multiple sexual partners of any gender.

Is Polyamory Common?

Well, the answer to it will surprise you completely! Polyamory is more common than you think. So what will be the reasons polyamorous relationships don’t work?

In fact, one in nine Americans have been in a polyamorous relationship, and one in six would like to try one, a study has revealed.

Hence, it seems too fast from when polyamory appeared to become popular.

Newsweek also mentioned poring over data from a nationally representative sample of 3,438 single adults in the U.S. from a range of backgrounds in that study.

The result is that researchers found 16.8 percent asked to be polyamorous, i.e one in six will, and approximately one in 15 who said they knew someone who was or is polyamorous.

The most surprising is still 10.7 percent of respondents, i.e one in nine have been polyamorous at some point in their lives.

Of those, up to 30.4 percent said they would try it again, while over a fifth confessed they were “too possessive to cope,” and even 32.8 percent said the emotional side of the arrangement was too tricky to navigate.

According to that study, men with less education than others were more likely to have polyamorous relationships when compared to women and those with higher education levels.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: AskMen

Not only that, current studies have also shown that polyamorous relationships may be more common than the average person thinks.

Indeed, polyamory is not for everyone, but it seems that a lot of people are thinking about it, and a lot of people are practicing it.

Is It Wrong to Be Polyamorous?

There’s definitely an ongoing debate around whether or not hierarchy in relationships is ethical, right or wrong.

Can dictate what one is allowed to do in their relationship? It’s not. But, at least in the US, being polyamorous or otherwise consensually non-monogamous, is not a protected status.

You can get fired for it. In some certain cases, it is something that can deter child custody arrangements or complicate divorce’s property debate.

Polyamorous Relationship Types

In practice, polyamory is an umbrella of its own, encompassing many relationship styles. Make sure understand what types of relationship configurations to know why polyamorous relationships don’t work.

As per Medium, up to 11 distinct types for this polyamorous relationship:

Hierarchical Poly

It is also called one primary plus. This means a central relationship, referred to as the person’s primary relationship. A person who can relate to his cohabitation, marriage, shared finances or owning a property or business together.

So, other partners outside of this central relationship are viewed as non primary, secondary, or even tertiary partners. Relationships may not be equal similarly.

Mono-poly Relationships

This relationships are those in which one partner identifies as polyamorous, and the other identifies as monogamous.

Non-hierarchical Polyamory

In this type, no one is defined as a primary partner in their relationships. Relationships may all be equal, or may vary in time, energy, commitment, and significance.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: Let’s Eat Cake

Many ask why polyamorous relationships don’t work with them while participants are satisfied with all parties having their needs met.

Kitchen Table Polyamory

The name comes from the idea that everyone involved would be comfortable gathering around the kitchen table for a meal. This style of polyamory emphasis on family-style connections among the people involved in a network, whether they’re romantically involved with each other or not.

In this case, it’s quite difficult to identify why polyamorous relationships don’t work if they are in safe connection.

Parallel Polyamory

This refers to a term that describes a relationship structure where members have no interest in meeting each other or being emotionally involved.


Folks who practice solo-poly are not interested in having a primary partner. These people are often dedicated to polyamory, but not interested in serious relationships.

Source Let's Eat Cake

Source: Fatherly

Relationship Anarchy

Anarchy is a term you might hear related to the poly community. All parties in this relationship are spontaneous to engage in the relationships they choose without labels or rules.


It’s a way to describe a person with whom you have a partner in common.


A polycule is a set of relationships within a romantic which resembles a molecule as diagrammed in organic chemistry.


It is not limited to romantic or sexual pleasure, but can happen when my partner experiences satisfying life outside of their romantic relationships as well.

Polysaturated relationship

Polyamorous, but not currently seeking or open to new relationships/partners. It seems you won’t need to know why polyamorous relationships don’t work in this case.

Can Polyamory Work?

Yes, polyamory can work if you want to access multiple sexual partners more. Yes, polyamory works if you want to get deeply in touch with love experiences in your life.

How Does Polyamory Work?

People in polyamory are considered not to follow the traditional social, cultural, or religious construct of relationships. Few of them also wonder why polyamorous relationships don’t work in some cases.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: Medium

Anyway, how a polyamorous relationship works which involved in the people there. It may work for some people, but it requires being transparent.

Polyamorous Relationship Rules

Why polyamorous relationships don’t work? Why does that matter? In a polyamorous relationship, things can get messy fast. The more people in a relationship, the greater the chance of complications.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: Deccan Herald

Here are some rules for an ideal polyamorous relationship:

  • Establish how much you want to involve first
  • Set boundaries if it’s necessary
  • Make some territorial claims
  • Respect your partner and their time
  • Open communication
  • Consider each other’s motivations

Why Polyamory is Good?

If you are finding out why polyamorous relationships don’t work, you could its benefits, right?

Below are a few good sides to be in polyamorous relationships:

  • Get more supports
  • You get freedom to spread emotion
  • Get more quality
  • Restore your actual relationship with new experiences after being in poly relationships

Why Polyamory is Bad?

Polyamory Is Unhealthy

  • Complexity: The more people involved, the more highly intense romantic relationships can be.
  • Emotional swings: At some point, the larger the group, the more likely it is that someone will leave or others will join. It is difficult to regulate such constant emotions.
  • Pressure: When faced with so many problems in many relationships, it is easy to see pressure. If the complexities of emotions and time management cannot be resolved, it will disturb the network of all your relationships.
  • Legal Problems: There is no required law, but it is immoral and undervalued by the majority.

Polyamory Is Toxic

It can be negative, but any relationship is toxic to some extent. So does the poly. Therefore, it is understandable that someone still asks why polyamorous relationships don’t work.

Why Polyamorous Relationships Don’t Work?

Have you ever been lying awake next to your outside partner and wondered why polyamorous relationships don’t work effectively for you? Or do you find the feelings not so bad but they’re almost boring?

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: The Guardian

Don’t be confused. Here’s why polyamorous relationships don’t work for you.

To understand why polyamorous don’t work, it’s up to you to see if you can stand the challenges that come with it.

On a certain day, you may have emotions that go beyond the limits of the set rules easily. You may be jealous or may lose your temper when your outside partner wants to enter into a complicated relationship with more people.

Indeed, one of things belonging why polyamorous relationships don’t work is that it doesn’t work in generating the depth of intimacy. This makes this a bad experience for you. Jealousy is a natural instinct. Perhaps that’s why this is also the answer to why polyamorous relationships don’t work in the long term.

We also tend to forget how happy and proud we are when we own something. Besides jealousy, possessiveness is also instinctive.

If you never really enjoyed sharing your toys or school supplies as a child, why are you doing it now? Even if it doesn’t matter. You or anyone hard can not prevent the instincts from going beyond the established rules in your poly relationships.

why polyamorous relationships don't work

Source: Men’s Health

Not only that, each of you is also busy and it is difficult to arrange a time for each other because it is not official. Partners in polyamorous relationships can be busy on scheduled dates. This becomes a chronic issue if it consumes so much your time and energy that the opportunity for intimacy is lessened.

You need to deal with some difficult and complicated emotions. Sometimes it’s not a question of why polyamorous don’t work for you, but it’s superb for you to walk away from that type of relationship. You will avoid separations, feelings of abandonment, and moments of anger with just your inner self.

Obviously, compared to monogamy, this type of relationship satisfies you in the sexual or romantic aspects of the body for a few moments. Its problems also occur more often, more chaotic and cause your mood to change more negatively.

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Maybe polyamory will work for some, but it’s not for everyone. Chances are, if you become amorous, but if you can’t take your problems lightly, that will be the reason why polyamorous relationships don’t work with you.