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Have you ever go through a breakup? Do you find it’s tough to get over someone? Let BestLifeTips analyze the potential reasons that leave you vulnerable while handling a breakup and why are breakups so painful.
What are the 5 stages of breakups?
Before finding out why are breakups so painful, let’s learn about what are the 5 stages of a breakup.
According to Mental-Health-Matters, there are five stages of breakups that you will go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, even if you were the one who initiated the split. In fact, these are the natural ways for your heart to heal. In detail:
Denial: This stage gives your heart time to adjust to the new situation, which is your brain’s automatic response to unwanted news. In other words, in this stage, people understand logically that the relationship is over, but they don’t want to believe it.
Anger: When the denial stage is over, you’ve faced the facts. Now the anger is flaring up in your soul. However, it is normal to be angry at your ex-partner, don’t suppress it. The anger stage helps you wake up from numbness. The advice here is that it is essential not to make any rash decisions or you may regret later.
Bargaining: In the bargaining stage, you will try to restore your relationship or perhaps try to rebuild it as a friendship. Bargaining involves looking for ways that the relationship could still be saved. However, this thought – to be friends with your ex, especially soon after the breakup, will only keep the pain of heartbreak fresh. You can salvage your pride by starting anew without your him/her.
Depression (or negotiation): It’s normal to be sad throughout the breakups. This is a time for reflection. At this point of the breakups, you have to face the fact that the situation is not going to change. A lot of different feelings and behaviors can crop up during this depression stage. Therefore, try to be positive, eat well, and sleep well.
Acceptance: In the final step of grief after a breakup, bit by bit, you can find yourself coming to terms with the end of the relationship, to put it differently, you will begin to piece together what happened, accept the breakup and acknowledge the part you played in it.
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You’ll likely visit some phases more than once as memories, triggers, or experiences can bring you cycling back to an earlier stage. Are you now in these stages? Why are breakups so painful? Do you want to share your story?
Does the pain of breakups ever go away?
Some people still suffer from grief and pain for more than a year after ending their relationship, while others might heal and move on in a matter of weeks, even when the relationship itself lasted a year or longer. So, if you still keep positive and always try to move forward, the pain of breakups will go away. It totally depends on you.
So why are breakups so painful? Keep reading to find out!
Why are breakups so painful?
To be honest, the loss of some most significant people in our life causes us to experience distress, and in the early stages of breakups, this distresses compounds.
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The reason why breakups are so painful is your natural reaction when your partner isn’t psychologically or physically present to meet your needs. It is obvious that most of us will experience a relationship breakup at some point in our lives at least once. With someone who is suffered from the first breakup, their experience may be most profound.
Besides, this has to do with several factors as well. A breakup means so much more than the mere loss of a partnership.
When a loved one leaves us, we will feel like the entire worldview is shaken. All the dreams and plans for both futures that you have built together suddenly go up in smoke.
Moreover, it’s not just your future that is suddenly uncertain, your everyday life changes too. So, that is the reason why are breakups so painful.
Why do some people take breakups harder than others?
No one is spared the pain of separation. However, in the real-life, there are some people who are haunted by the ghosts of their romantic past, while others seem to move on from failed relationships with minimal difficulty.
Besides, people who struggle to even get back to their day-to-day life maybe belong to the following types:
- They have sensitive souls. They tend to feel the breakup pain more than others
- They see themselves in low light
- Highly committed relationships easily breakups bring torment
- Experience disturbance in biological rhythms
Moreover, there are many people who take their breakups harder than others, which mostly come from the memories, triggers, or experiences with their ex.
Some common feeling after break up
Even though breakups are painful, some people struggle to even get back to their day-to-day life, while others are able to cope with the loss of a relationship reasonably well. People such as the first type tend to suffer more from romantic loss, and their emotions often lead them to depression, neglect, and disconnect.
After breakups, many people experience a wide range of difficult feelings, like anger, guilt, or sadness, leading to the feeling of loneliness, confusion, or rejection. Some people feel as though their world has turned upside down and that things will never be good again.
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How long does breakup pain last?
The results of an online poll by Healthline suggest that it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer. In individual cases, the period can be longer or shorter. In fact, the grieving process is rarely linear, and this is perfectly normal.
There is a quote that once all celebrations must pass before the pain of separation subsides.
How to deal with breakup pain?
In fact, overcoming the pain of separation takes one thing above all: Time.
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Besides, there are still ways for you to make the grieving process more bearable:
- Focus on yourself
- Spen time with your family and friends
- You should find an outlet to express your feelings
- Clear away everything that reminds you of your former partner
- You don’t have to go through the pain alone. Confide to someone
- How to get out of the friend zone fast
- How to fix a marriage that is falling apart
- How to stop being the second choice in a relationship?
Through this post, BestLifeTips hopes that you can find yourself a suitable answer for why are breakups so painful. If you have anything want to share about your current situation, feel free to comment below. Don’t forget to follow BestLifeTips to see more interesting topics. Like & Share this post if you find it interesting!