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When a friend hurts you deeply, what should you do? How to get over it? Read this article of BestLifeTips to find out the answer.
Should you let someone know they hurt you?
When a friend hurts you deeply, it is okay to feel hurt, and it is okay to tell them that they’ve hurt you. It’s one of the best things that you can do in this case.
You don’t need to be confrontational or make a scene. Just let them know that what they said or did was hurtful and share how it made you feel.
Instead of blaming them, even if you feel like it’s their fault, try to speak openly about the way you feel. Your feelings are always valid.
Keep reading to find out what to do when a friend hurts you deeply.
What to do when a friend hurts you deeply?
Here what should you do when a friend hurts you deeply:
Control your reaction
You may not be able to control the way you feel, but you can control the way you respond.
When a friend hurts you deeply, take time to calm down and think about how they may have hurt you.
Try to resist the temptation to ruminate on how your friend hurt you, and instead focus on getting calm as soon as possible.
Talk to your friend
Once you’re calm and can speak without anger, sit down with your friend to discuss what happened.
Make sure you are completely calm when you discuss the incident. Tell your friend that what their saying or action was hurtful.
Let your friend respond
Dialogue is important in conflict resolution. When a friend hurts you deeply, you can’t just talk at your friend about how rude they were without letting them have any chance to respond.
Decide if the friendship can stand
When a friend hurts you deeply, you’re likely to think about cutting them out of your life. However, that may be an extreme reaction to an incident of hurt feelings.
Most people find that with a little time and patience, all can be forgiven. It depends on how deep they have hurt you, only you can decide whether your friendship can stand.
Reflect on the situation
After having some time to cool down and talk to your friend about the way they hurt you, you should reflect on everything that’s happened.
You can reflect for a moment on everything that’s happened between you and your friend to try and understand the situation better and make the right decision in the end.
Choose to let go of hurt feelings
When a friend hurts you deeply, you can either hold on to feelings of anger and pain, or you can choose to let it go and move on with your life.
Acknowledge that you were hurt and choosing not to live in the past.
Forgive and move on
No matter what the result, when a friend hurts you deeply, you should learn to forgive. Forgiveness is not easy at all, especially if you were hurt deeply.
But it will help you move on from painful experiences, and give you greater mental health and happiness.
Source: Unsplash/Zohre Nemati
How to tell your friend when they hurt you deeply?
Here are some tips on how to tell your friend when a friend hurts you deeply:
Determine what you want
Before you do or say anything, think about what you want to achieve from this conversation. Make sure it’s clear in your mind before you and your friend meet to talk.
Write it down
Writing down what you want to say can help clarify your thoughts.
Statements that begin with “you”, such as “You never come to my house”, can seem like a personal attack and your friend might get defensive.
Instead, you can use “I” statement, such as “I feel hurt that we don’t hang out at my house.”
You could show what you’ve written to someone else you trust, such as a sibling, parent or another friend, and ask them for advice.
Choose the right time
The place and time of the conversation are important. You can choose somewhere you both feel comfortable and have privacy to ease any nerves.
You can ask your friend to meet you at a specific time and place for a talk.
Try to avoid having the conversation at a time when it is a special occasion for them or when they’re busy.
Talk to them
Start by telling your friend why this conversation is important to you.
For example, “I really value our friendship, and want us to stay good friends, so I wanted to chat to you about something that has been on my mind lately.”
Tell them how they have hurt you deeply: “I’ve been feeling … when you….”
Listen to them
Let your friend explain about their behavior. They might be surprised at how you feel, or not know that their behavior was affecting you negatively.
You might also be surprised to hear that something you did played a part.
You can have an opportunity to clear up the misunderstanding between you two.
Respect them when talking
When things get heated, we tend to say hurtful things that we’ll later regret. Try to treat them with respect and kindness to make the conversation a bit easier, and show that you care about your friendship.
Look after yourself
Being hurt deeply will impact a lot on your health. Do something nice for yourself after you’ve had the conversation. This will help recharge you.
Hang out with your family or your other friends when you need some company, and lock something in with them.
Should I forgive my friend for hurting me?
Forgiveness is a difficult thing to do. But if you can do this, you are really a wonderful person.
You should forgive your friend for their hurtful words and deeds. Even this may take a long time.
Forgiveness will help you be able to move on and take this negativity from your thoughts, and you’ll find your inner peace.
How to let go of a friend who hurt you?
Allow yourself to be sad
It’s totally fine to feel sad about leaving a friendship. Let yourself feel those emotions and take time to reflect on what you learned from the time you spent with them.
It’s OK to go your separate ways
As Louise Jensen said on MindBodyGreen, “The friendship may have come to its natural end and that’s OK. If you’re going to grow, you’re going to lose people along the way.”
Focus on your healthy relationships
When deciding to end a toxic friendship, focus on the other people in your life. People that help us grow as a person are worth hanging on to. So go spend your time with them.
Don’t wait for an apology
Don’t hope for an admission that the other person was wrong, or treated you bad. Move on and try to let it go.
Seek for help
Talk to people who you trust, like a close friend or a family member, and ask them for advice.
Let yourself move on
It can be tough to come to terms with a bad friend. It can stir up some pretty heavy bitterness, but it’s necessary to let this feeling go.
Forgive her for not being the friend you want, free yourself of any guilt, and move on.
Don’t go back to a bad time again. Simply end contact and give yourself a chance to move on.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is to move on and genuinely know in our hearts that we deserve better.
Source: Pushing Beauty
Is it OK to ignore someone who hurt you?
Sometime silence and ignoring is not a good response to someone who hurt you. You can ignore someone who hurt you if they’re not your friend. But if the one hurt you is one of your good friends, that’s a different situation.
Remember, the first thing to do when being hurt is to calm down.
Then choose a right time and talk to the person who hurt you. Let them know how you feel about their saying or action.
Don’t stay silent. Speak up for yourself in a polite and calm way.
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Hope that after reading this post of BestLifeTips, you’ll know what to do when a friend hurts you deeply and how to get over it. Follow us for more helpful tips.