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Sexless marriage and affairs are a big problem that many couples have to face in their marriage lives. If you are in this kind of situation, and you want to know the cause as well as how to improve your marriage, this article is for you. Join BestLifeTips now to get to know more about these.
What is a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage is a marriage in which a couple is not being sexually intimate. The most common reason is because of a lack of desire in one or both parts.
When one or both partners are no longer interested in sex, it can show that problems underlying the relationship will soon experience. A sexless marriage can also be the result of long-standing problems.
A short-term cessation of sex does not make your marriage sexless. Sex must have stopped happening for one year or longer.
What is an affair?
An affair is a romantic and emotional relationship with someone other than your spouse or partner. Normally, an affair does not last long, and it occurs between two people who are not married or committed to one another. An affair may or may not involve in sex.
Online affairs can happen between two people who may never meet one another in person.
Typically, an affair is considered a betrayal of trust. It can cause significant distress in relationships and there are many reasons why people cheat on their partners.
Affairs are usually referred to adultery among marriage couples and infidelity among spouses, same-sex couples, and other committed partners.
What causes sexless marriage and affairs?
There are different reasons that lead to a sexless marriage and affairs. Below are some comment reasons that many people have faced.
- Physical issues
Many medications may lead to side effects, which include a loss of libido. Aside from that, surgery to the pelvic area and numerous medical conditions may also disrupt a person’s sex drive or their ability to have sexual intercourse.
- Mental health issues
Physical health conditions can impact a person’s sex drive or ability to have sex, and so can mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, past sexual trauma and others. Certain medications can also cause sexual dysfunction.
Stress is a mood killer. It can take on many forms, such as economic stress, fatigue-induced stress, excessive workload, and so on. When you are stressed, sex may be the last thing on your mind. Chronic stress can lead to elevated levels of the hormone cortisol in the body, which can mess with your sex drive.
- You are getting bored with each other
At the beginning of the relationship, sex is something new, so it feels hot and exciting. Over time, couples can grow accustomed to the same routine, which may lead to a sexual malaise.
- You have mismatched libidos
It’s a normal thing for a couple’s sex drive to fluctuate over the course of a relationship. You and your partner may not always be on the same level sexually. The lower libido partner cannot meet the needs of the higher libido partner. That’s why tensions may arise and give way to periods of sexlessness.
- An affair
When either the wife or husband have an affair, the damage to their love-life is big. This happens not only when the affair is exposed and one spouse’s feelings are hurt by the action of the other, but also occurs while the affair is concealed.
- Unresolved fights
Fierce arguments or fights that haven’t been satisfactorily resolved can lead to a continual rift in a marriage. The lack of sex can be a form of punishment due to the hurt feelings and anger resulting from such the past fights.
- Lack of variety and excitement
Your sexuality and your partner’s is constantly evolving, and there are always new things to try and discover. For many couples, maintaining a similar level of excitement is a challenge that they cannot meet. Many marriages grow stale due to lack of variety and excitement in the bedroom and out of it. This leads to a sexless relationship and makes the relationship less stable.
How to survive a sexless marriage without cheating?
A sexless marriage will gradually lead to cheating and bring about pain and hurt feelings. But don’t worry. In most cases, it is possible to survive a sexless marriage without cheating. Here are some tips on fixing a sexless marriage.
- Process your own feelings
When we work through our difficult emotions healthily, we’re less likely to blow steam at our partner and hold on to feelings of resentment.
- Communicate with your partner
Sometimes you should discuss a problem in your relationship. This help you to understand each other more and it’s the easiest way to solve the problems. Ask each other what you want your relationship to be like. Share your goals with each other, then work together to find a way to meet each other in the middle. Maybe you two can find the way out.
- Find the underlying causes
There are plenty of reasons why you are in a sexless marriage. Find out the causes and work together to address them.
- Accept that you and your spouse have different needs and desires
Whether your sexual needs aren’t being met or you’re not interested in having sex, acknowledge that your partner’s needs are valid. If rekindling your sex life doesn’t seem to work, having empathy for each other will help you deepen your bond in nonsexual ways.
- Get professional help
Your relationship is worth fighting for. Sometimes you may need a safe space to talk it out and a little touch of guidance.
- Develop and keep rituals together
Rituals such as going out to dinner every weekend, watching a movie or TV show together, or even simple action like kissing each other goodbye or sharing jokes, can help build intimacy.
- Spend time together without distraction
Go on dates, and do other activities together. Put your phones away when you have deep conversations, turn off the TV.
- Exercise with each other regularly
You can try to go for walks or jogs together every evening, or picking up a new sport. These are great opportunities to spend quality time together. Furthermore, physical activity can improve blood flow and increase libido.
- Reviving your sex life
Dress well and maintain your personal hygiene to attract your spouse. You can start with nonsexual physical contact. Try taking off your clothes, massaging each other, and softly running your fingertips over each other. Avoid making contact with your genitals at first. The goal is to get comfortable being naked with each other and coming into contact with each other.
Express your sexual desires with each other without fear of judgment. Tell your partner about your fantasies, desires, and new things you want to try. Ask them to share their desires with you.
However, don’t put too much pressure on each other. Keep your expectations realistic. Take things slow and emphasize that you’re both willing to be patient with each other.
Sexless marriage and affairs – Q&A
When to walk away from a sexless marriage?
If you feel that sexlessness is eating into your relationship and your marriage is becoming the dead weight that you are carrying, then it’s better to walk away from a sexless marriage and opt for a divorce. Sometimes the best way to survive a sexless marriage without cheating is to walk away.
Does sexless marriage lead to affairs? What I can do to curb my natural sexual desire?
Sexless marriages are more popular than most people would like to admit. As a couple grows together, physical, psychological and physiological changes can start impacting the libido of one or both partners, leading to a consistent decline in the frequency of sexual encounters within the marriage.
Normally, sexless marriage will lead to affairs. There are many reasons why they do that. Some want to experience something new; some are addicted to sex, they feel that their spouse cannot meet their desire; others get bored with their spouses and so on.
To curb your natural sexual desire, you can adjust your eating. Greasy foods like fries and chips are known to decrease libido. White flour, kinds of pasta, cereals, bread, and cookies contain large amounts of refined carbohydrates that are capable of lowering your testosterone levels. A study suggests having more than 120mg of soy per day can have negative effects on sexual health.
In additional, you can distract your desire by doing your hobbies or something you love to do.
Does a sexless marriage justify infidelity?
If having a sexless marriage is extremely painful for the partner who wants to have sex, yet infidelity is a relationship killer. A sexless marriage does not ever justify infidelity. Infidelity does not lead to anything good. Cheaters always get caught, and it causes great distress for both partners and could ruin any chance of relationship healing.
There are plenty reasons why people stuck in sexless marriage and affairs. The most important thing is that you need to determine what is important to you, get the deeper understanding one another and know how to save your sexless marriage. Having an affair is not a smart choice, it will hurt you and your spouse after all. Come back to BestLifeTips to know more useful information.