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If you’ve been living with a passive aggressive person, unfortunately, then you may be wary of what’s to come during your relationship. Is your partner a passive aggressive spouse? Find out with BestLifeTips right now.
What Is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?
According to Mayo Clinic, passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. Meanwhile, what a passive aggressive person does, which may often different from what he says.
Many might have not known about the history of this phrase yet. During World War II, if soldiers wouldn’t follow orders from officers, they are having passive-aggressive behaviour. It’s new at that time, but still relevant today.
The passive aggression behaviors aren’t related to mental illness. But someone whose mental health illness may act that way.
Passive aggression could damage your personal and professional relationships. About a passive aggressive spouse? If a husband or wife has some signals of passive aggressive behaviors, are they considered harmful for their relationship?
Signs Of Passive Aggressive Spouse
Honestly, one of the most obvious signs of a passive-aggressive spouse is being quiet or not communicating with you either unintentionally or unintentionally.
In personal relationships, if they often do the silent treatment, it is intended to keep you off balance. This also implies that you did something wrong or not what they meant, so you’re being punished.
Source: Time Magazine
“Withholding communication is another form of expressing anger and asserting power passively,” explains Darlene Lancer, licensed marriage and family therapist.
Indeed, your passive-aggressive partner might performs the withholding in either physical or emotional intimacy, including the silent treatment.
- Forget or procrastinate
This may seem like a surprising sign of a passive aggressive spouse. They have procrastination behavior to make their partner expect but at the last second, they just say “I forget” as light as a feather.
Indeed, they always keep you looking forward to and let you down untill the end with their excuses. Specifically, the aggressive spouse is stalling deliberately, making excuses which indicates that they really don’t want to do what they promise.
Understandably, for passive aggressive people, it’s their way of making themselves believe they’re in control of everything around them.
If your spouse is silent too much, which refers to withholding love and affection. You can know clearly through their attitude and curt tone. Everything between the two of you is superficial.
You may be upset with this sign, but it’s also good for you to tell if your partner is a passive aggressive spouse.
Sarcasm can also be an obvious sign of a passive aggressive spouse if they do it frequently. In some cases, when you have something to do with his help, he says “yes” but acts like only he can command you.
Often, you can also detect these rather negative behaviors when you receive their sarcastic compliments. They like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humor, to express their displeasure about a situation.
By making you feel bad, the passive-aggressive spouse hopes to impose and maintain psychological superiority over you.
- Unreasonable Blaming
Source: Her Norm
A partner might hold the other as preeminent and responsible for all his happiness and success, or even unhappiness and failures unreasonably.
They often do this by targeting your emotional weaknesses. The passive-aggression here is a form of coercive manipulation. This forces you to believe it’s all your fault.
What Causes Of A Passive Aggressive Spouse?
There are several biological and environmental factors that can contribute to form passive aggressive behavior.
Researchers believe people who exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors started doing so in their childhood. This may be affected by parenting style or other influences as child abuse, neglect, and harsh punishment. Those potentially cause a person to develop passive-aggressive behaviors.
If an individual may have been brought up in an uncontrolled environment where anger was not an acceptable emotion to express or was raised in a household, where passive aggression was the norm.
It is also said that underlying health conditions may cause negative behaviors that appear similar to passive aggressive behavior. This often leads many to misunderstand some mental health conditions as passive aggressive behavior.
Can A Passive Aggressive Man Change?
It’s not impossible. A therapist can help a man identify his passive-aggressive behavior and teach him how to change his behaviors.
However, it may work only up to a certain point. In fact, a passive-aggressive person will not easily change because of feeling unsafe with their own doubt or skewed emotions. Hence, keep this in mind when you realize you are dealing with a passive aggressive personality.
How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Spouse?
How To Set Boundaries With A Passive Aggressive Husband?
Once you have uncovered the actual signs and problems, you can set up boundaries, through discussing it with the individual.
Sometimes, setting boundaries is your way of communicating to your husband what you will or will not tolerate anymore. Everything has a certain limit.
Let them know doing the promise is always respectful to others. They need to follow through with what they said before or not say “yes” to everything. They shouldn’t leave their partner upset with expectations they create just for their own interest.
Setting boundaries with your passive aggressive spouse also means that they need to reassess their priorities. Whatever they need to readjust in their life to make things around better is up to them. It’s also referred to the fact that they should care about others’ feelings.
In closing, it’ll be better when you communicate specifically what you will no longer tolerate with your passive aggressive spouse.
How To Divorce A Passive Aggressive Spouse?
If their passive aggressive ways are beyond the limit of your tolerance, you might move on with life and no longer interacting with this person.
You do have choices including divorcing with your passive aggressive spouse. However, applying divorce is often difficult when confronted with a PA partner.
Here are some typical guides for how to divorce:
Tell him directly that you are proceeding with the divorce. A passive aggressive spouse may try to avoid a divorce at first by acting out aggressively. You should stay calm and don’t react emotionally to this.
Another thing to keep in mind is that your passive aggressive spouse may try to delay the divorce out of their own personal traits or discomfort. If it is too difficult to deal with, let your attorney help you put together a plan of how to move forward if your spouse tries to delay the divorce longer.
Keep in mind that your spouse may try to play the victim, but you don’t have to get defensive. Do what you need to do to move on positively.
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There are several things you can do, you know, depending on how your passive aggressive spouse showed to you. BestLifeTips believes that whatever you choose will help you continue to live a more positive life.