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Are you having trouble living with your mom? Join this article of BestLifeTips to discuss about having my mom moved in with me and my husband.
Reason why my mom moved in with me and my husband
When we have got married and move out, we no longer live with our parents. However, for many reasons, especially when they get older, sometimes we will offer them to move into our house or they themselves want that.
Here are some reasons for why my mom moved in with me and my husband:
- Daughter needs her help when giving birth
Typically, when a woman gives birth, she will need a lot of supports from her mom before and after giving birth. So they will need their mom to move into their house for conveniences.
- Daughter needs her to look after the kids while she’s going to work
After confinement, women have to go back to work. But they don’t want to hire a babysitter to look after their children. They want their mom to do that. So they ask their mothers to move into their house for a while.
- Mom’s got older and got sick
When moms are getting older, their health conditions are not good, too. They need to be taken care of. That’s why they moved into their daughter’s house.
- She doesn’t want to live alone
After dad has passed away, mom doesn’t want to live alone. She may feel insecure and lonely.
What it’s like when my mom moved in with me and my husband
Source: Raising Children Network
It’s hard to describe how it’s like when my mom moved in with me and my husband. It has both good and bad sides.
When my mom moved in with me and my husband, I was so happy back then. Since I have more time to spend with her. I can talk with her every day, I can sleep with her as when I was a kid, I can take care of her when she got sick, and there are many things we could do together which we haven’t ever done before.
She also helps me a lot with my kids and my houseworks. Her cooking is always the best. My kids are also love their grandma’s dishes. She even takes care of us when we’re sick.
However, you know that when we live with our parents, arguments arise sooner or later. I’m sometimes really stressed out because of her. Since our point of view as well as the way we raise children are different, we argue a lot.
Although I love her so much, sometimes she really drives me out. But thanks to her, our lives become more easy and not that busy as before she moved in.
Pros of having my mom moved in with me and my husband
While having my mom moved in with me and my husband, I can take care of her, which makes me really assured. The older I become, the more things I understand about her. She had sacrificed for her husband and children a lot. And when I got married and then had children, I understand more about her pain and suffering.
My father has passed away because of liver cancer. She was so shocked and so painful to lose him. And she was also so strong the day he’s gone. Her health conditions are degraded over time. So I feel really assured having my mom moved in with me and my husband.
She is a great mother and grandmother. We’ve got a lot supports from her in our daily life, especially when we are so busy with our works.
Cons of having my mom moved in with me and my husband
Living together has been hard on all of us in different ways. Having my mom moved in with me and my husband also has many cons.
She sometimes talks too much a bout one small thing making me and my husband really uncomfortable. She also interferes a little too much into the way we raise our children. They become spoiler since their grandma moved into the house. She spoils them too much without listening to our opinion.
You know that the older our mother gets, the more stubborn they will become. She does anything she wants even if it’s not good for her health. She sometimes gossips about our stuffs with the neighbour and that what annoys me the most.
What to do if you don’t get along well with your mom?
It is normal to have arguments with your mom. But what should you do if you don’t get along well with your mom? Here are some tips to improve your relationship with your mom:
Talk to her more
Communication is the golden key to maintain any relationship. You should spend more time talking to your mom. Daily conservations will help you both get to know each other more.
Tell her how you feel
You should tell her what you feel and you can also suggest she do that. You should prepare what you need to tell her, and how should you tell her about your feelings. That will help you avoid unreasonable voice tone, attitude and anger.
Nobody is perfect, so are you. You should accept all her imperfections. Instead of making her change her personality, which is most likely impossible, you should give honest advice. Remember to choose your words to avoid hurting your mother.
Ask for help
Don’t think that it’s normal to have your mom helping you do this and that. Ask for her help to show that you respect and appreciate for her support.
Listen to her
Sometimes listening is the best thing you can do in this situation. Before you begin a conversation about a lingering conflict, try to listen openly to what they have to say and accept that they may have valid points. Listen to how she feels to understand more about her.
Express your love to her
No matter how her personality is, no matter what she did, she is always your mother. Express your love and gratitude to your mom. This is the simplest way to make your mom happy.
How to tell your mom if you don’t want her to move in?
For many people, though they love their mom, living together doesn’t seem to work for both mom and daughter. So how to tell your mom if you don’t want her to move in?
Before telling her your opinion, think about it carefully. Is this the best way for both of you? If you don’t want her to move in, what should you do then?
I suggest that you should choose words to tell her that she cannot live with you. Explain why she cannot. For example, you and your mother don’t get along well, you two cannot even talk with each other for more than 3 sentences without fighting. And that’s not good for your kids and for both of you.
Or you and your husband are busy with your works, your children mostly go to school or go out with friends, so you don’t have much time to spend with her and taking care of her. There are many reasons to tell your mom why she cannot move into your house.
If you can, get her a low-income apartment near your house or a rental assistance. Hire a maid or a private nurse to take care of her every day. And you will try your best to spend more time visiting her regularly. She may be sad when hearing that, but she can understand if you tell her genuinely.
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Living with mom is great, but sometimes we cannot avoid conflicts or arguments with her. Please Like & Share this article about my mom moved in with me and my husband of BestLifeTips if you find it helpful.