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Rooted from childhood, your attachment style can also play a large role in how you deal with your life. Read on with BestLifeTips and you will identify how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment, which is an unwanted pattern and behavior.
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory is a psychological theory created in the 1960s to describe the way infants and adults connect to others on an emotional level.
According to the theory, an attachment style you develop in early childhood is thought to have a lifelong influence on your ability to communicate your emotions and needs to your family or around relationships.
They also affect how you respond to conflict or how you form expectations about your relationships.
Attachment styles can also be broadly categorized as being either secure or insecure including 4 types below:
Attachment styles express both being secure and insecure. The attachment style you were raised with may help explain patterns of feeling you notice in relationships.
So, how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment or other attachment styles? Let’s know more about it. Just knowing your style of attachment will help you form better adult relationships.
One of the prominent styles is anxious attachment. This is a form of insecure attachment. In this post, you can find out clearly the causes, traits, and signs of this anxious-preoccupied attachment style.
What is anxious-preoccupied attachment?
As mentioned, anxious-preoccupied attachment is a type of insecure attachment style rooted in a fear of abandonment and an insecurity of being underappreciated.
People with this case are also called anxious-preoccupied disorder. They are always stuck worrying about giving up their relationships. About 19% of people have an anxious attachment style, according to research.
“When people have this attachment style, their inner world and the world with the people closest to them feel uncertain”, “so there is little room to be empathic and extend out in their circle of concern” clinical psychologist. Bobbi Wegner, Psy.D., wrote in her book Raising Feminist Boys.
What causes an anxious attachment style in childhood?
Before finding answers for how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment, just look over the causes of this style.
In fact, even researchers aren’t entirely sure what causes a person to develop this specific attachment type.
Though genetics may play a role in its development, the parenting style and childhood experiences can be a significant factor.
Inconsistent parenting means that insensitive or antipathetic behaviors towards their child sometimes. This can lead to the child feeling insecure, confused, and even distressed more.
They may also act clingy to try to have their needs met without knowing what behavior to expect. More badly, these attachment behaviors may then be transferred to adult relationships.
Which children have a higher risk of developing anxious attachment?
According to NCBI, their meta-analyses recent studies yield that disorganized children may be most at risk. Anxious-pro attachment itself may contribute to anxiety, but insecurely attached children also are more likely to have difficulties regulating emotions and interacting competently with peers.
In addition to that, there are a few types of common cases of higher risk, such as childrens who are stuck in physical or psychological abuse or early separation from their parents or the nice caregiver.
To this point, it’s really necessary to know how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment for the young getting positive behaviors in future.
Anxious preoccupied attachment style signs
In a 2015 study on 160 adolescents and young adults, researchers found that these anxiety disorders are more commonly seen in women than men. Depression of this type of case may arise.
Thereby, you need to identify about how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment by these symptoms below:
Signs of anxious attachment in children
- Always anxious
- Difficult to consoled
- Not interacting with strangers
- Exploring passively
- Logging with caregiver
- Bad in controlling negative emotions
- Always displaying poor behaviors
Source: Parenting For Brain
Signs of anxious attachment in adults
- Always unconfident
- Low self-worth
- Too sensitive
- Difficulty trusting others
- Craving closeness and intimacy
- Easy to jealous with partner’s reaction
- Worries about abandonment
- Overly dependent in relationships
- Want more care
- Highly emotional, impulsive, and moody
Adults and young adults who develop anxious attachment may be at increased risk. Let’s learn about how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment as soon as possible.
Source: The Good Men Project
Anxious attachment style relationships
Anxious-preoccupied attachment style in relationships
Relationships between adults differ vastly to those between childs and their caregivers. This means the attachment styles are not identical in their relationship. Anyway, rooted from childhoods but the style of attachment can still be applied to adults and their relationships.
Those with an anxious–preoccupied attachment style usually have an unconfident with themselves and a more positive view of others. They also usually seek out intimacy and security from others, especially romantic partners.
However, they can often become overly dependent on relationships which can lead to overwhelming panic and worry about their partner’s reaction.
How to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment
Fortunately, it’s not difficult for how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment if you try. This is because these styles can change.
To handle these passive signs like above, just make a relationship with a securely attached individual. It could facilitate emotional closeness and a sense of calmness and stability for the long term instead of using therapeutic drugs in some crazy moments.
It’s true that you cannot change your past, but you can change the present. When you accept a new calm experience, it may lead to a shift in perception and to new habits and patterns.
The method here for how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment is that analyzing and making sense of your childhood experiences, not avoiding.
Source: Parenting For Brain
If you realize that past experiences don’t deserve what you suffer in the present and the future. It’s time to break free from bad established behavioral patterns and habits.
Either way, don’t forget that healing is an insecure attachment style which needs the positive interaction with your loved ones, especially with your partner. The more you work hard, the better your attachment style expresses.
Anxious attachment style book
If you are looking for a book about attachment or how to how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment, this list below is for you:
- “Addiction, Attachment, Trauma and Recovery: The Power of Connection” by Oliver J. Morgan
- “Anxiety in Relationships: 3 Books in 1: Attachment Theory Workbook, Insecure Attachment and Codependency. Overcome the severe damage caused by the fear of abandonment” by David Lawson
- “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amir Levine
- “Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life” by Thais Gibson
- “Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It” by Leslie Becker-Phelps
- “Mentalizing in the Development and Treatment of Attachment Trauma (The Developments in Psychoanalysis Series)” by Jon G. Allen
- The truth behind complex people: Are they mentally dangerous as rumors?
- Enneagram 1 101: How to know these idealists are deeply in stress and ways to pull them out
- Enneagram 2 in stress: Causes and how to set it free
This attachment style needs to be gotten rid of before it leads to some negative impacts on relationships. BestLifeTips hopes that you will keep for yourself the way about how to overcome anxious-preoccupied attachment.