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Have you noticed there are people who always seem to be more likable? Everyone seemingly wants to be with them and enjoys hanging out with them so much. Knowing how to get your friends to like you isn’t something that comes naturally. BestLifeTips reveals some simple ways to be more likeable right below.
What is friendship
Friendship is a strong bond between two people associated with feelings of care, appreciation, respect, and even love.
Different people, on the other hand, can have different meanings and standards for friendship. For example, very young children may refer to someone as their “best friend” within seconds of meeting them, while very shy people or people from reserved cultures may only have a few friends in their lives.
There is no one-size-fits-all concept of what makes up a friendship. Friendship, on the other hand, has several common characteristics:
- You’re at ease with them
A good friend is someone with whom you enjoy spending time. Pay attention to your energy; while we all have good and bad days, it says a lot when your energy around someone is consistently positive. If, on the other hand, being with someone consistently causes you to feel bad and drains your energy, it’s a strong indication that something is wrong with the relationship.
- They are always there for you
No matter what your circumstance is, a true friend will always be there for you. They aren’t trying to flee because you have lost money or because you have moved. Friends understand that life is full of challenges, and they will keep on going until the end.
- They are good ears
A good friend is someone with whom you can be vulnerable and open, knowing that they will not gossip about what you say. They would not tell someone if you say “please don’t tell anyone.”
- You care about each other
Even if you were not personally involved, you feel bad when something bad happens to your friend. To work, friendship necessitates empathy. A relationship in which friends do not understand each other’s feelings is not a healthy friendship; it is one-sided now or may become one-sided in the future.
Why your friends don’t like you
The truth is that not everyone would like you all of the time! That’s just the way people are. We’re all different in a variety of ways, from how we were raised to how we dress, and from our interests to our chosen profession. It’s no surprise, then, that some people don’t get along.
You can sometimes feel as if you should have done or said something different, but it isn’t all about you. That’s an important thing to keep in mind, because no matter how hard you try to change your actions, there will still be people who are offended by you.
But if this happens more regularly than usual, let’s take a peek at some of the possibilities. One or two of these may resonate with you and provide some hints as to how you can change your actions and make more friends with a little healthy self-reflection.
- You make a lot of complaints
It’s no secret that life can be difficult at times (or even a lot of the time). Although there are several achievements to be celebrated along the way, the truth for all of us is that there are likely to be more challenges than victories. But that doesn’t mean you can tell someone to listen to all the problems you’re facing in your own life. They’re probably preoccupied with figuring out how to navigate the maze of pressures of their own lives.
They won’t appreciate you contributing to their misery by sharing your own troubles. People, on the whole, favor those who maintain a good attitude in the face of difficulties.
- You gossip too much
On the surface, exchanging gossip seems to be a perfect way to ensure you’re part of the “in” crowd. If you have some juicy information about another person, being the one to share it with others can boost your popularity in the short term. That’s because, no matter how much we try not to, most of us can’t help but be distracted by the drama unfolding in the lives of our acquaintances.
Since spreading rumors will offend people, and you will be told about your bad habit sooner or later. This would be uncomfortable and embarrassing for you, but it’s even worse if you’re caught gossiping or spreading rumors. Few people would want to engage with you if you develop a reputation as a gossip because they won’t trust you to keep everything they say privately.
- You like to control
Genuine friendship necessitates some level of compromise. They get their way half of the time, and you get your way the rest of the time.
You choose to exert control over a situation to your own benefit or preference.
Is it better to have a movie night or a game night? No one else can make a suggestion because you have such a strong opinion, so you get your way. It’s difficult to socialize with you because everything has to be done on your words, which is why so many people dislike you.
- You are drama queen
Are you one of them? Your dramas, on the other hand, are legendary. Every aspect of your life is a play. All is a challenge, a war, or an issue that must be resolved. The issue with drama is that it necessitates a significant amount of emotional investment. Although you might be fine with it, the majority of people are not.
It’s boring to be around someone whose life is characterized by drama. It’s easy to understand that people dislike you.
- You’re an overly critical person
You can see the criticism as constructive and a way to help others achieve more, but sadly this is not how it feels when you receive consistently negative feedback. When your own levels of accomplishment are incredibly high, and you only consider the best when it comes to your own performance, it’s all too tempting to dismiss those who fall short of your ambitious goals.
Yes, offer helpful advice with optimistic overtones, but hypercritical sarcasm will not win you any friends.
How to get your friends to like you
When friends are around you, can you make them feel at ease and welcome? Can you make others feel valued, understood, and accepted? From the beginning, likeable people know how to impress themselves to others. They recognize the significance of portraying themselves as sincere and eager to communicate. If you do this, friends will see you as someone they want to talk to and hang out with.
It might seem that charismatic people are born charming, but likability, like any other skill, can be trained and honed. To become one of those fun and super-likable people that everyone feels at ease around and wants to learn more about, start with these secrets.
How to be likeable
- Listen more, talk less
When we’re talking to someone, we’re always in a hurry to get a word in edge-wise. We only listen half-heartedly when someone else is speaking as we consider how to react. We sometimes miss opportunities to create a connection with the other person because we are too eager to jump into a conversation.
When you interrupt a discussion, the other person will feel as though you are shutting them down before they have a chance to completely justify themselves.
Practice paying attention to what they’re saying and consciously listening to them. Don’t offer advice or attempt to solve a problem. However, make sure to ask follow-up questions. This will make them feel understood and show that you really tried to understand what they were saying.
- Don’t get distracted by smartphone
When speaking with another person, give your full attention to them and completely commit to the conversation. Technology has its place, but we make it the center of our lives all too much. To start developing real relationships, go old school and spend some time making small talk with those around you.
Put down your phone, take a break from your digital devices, and concentrate on the people in front of you. Rather than scrolling through social media, go out and socialize. Interact with others in real time. If you try to establish a friendship with the live person you’re ignoring when monitoring your email or returning text messages, you’ll fail miserably.
- Be conversation starter
The key is knowing what questions to ask to get the other person talking and engaging in a conversation. An open-ended question encourages the other person to share their thoughts or opinions on a subject. The idea is to start a discussion by asking questions related to their interests, such as favorite movies, YouTube channels, brands, etc. Consider the following questions: who, what, where, when, why, and how.
- Be consistent and well-balanced
People who are recognized for their unstable and fluctuating moods are not on anyone’s list of “most charismatic.” In reality, you will be actively avoided by others. If you want someone to feel comfortable approaching you, they must believe that you are calm and trustworthy.
When you’re tired or stressed, be honest with yourself and allow yourself some breathing room. Don’t let a bad mood take over your life. Instead, approach each new individual as though it were a fresh start, and don’t let past entanglements affect how you interact with them.
You can have a bad day or be in a bad mood at any moment, but note this little gem: you don’t have to share every thought or emotion that comes to mind. It’s also preferable to simply nod, smile, and remain silent.
- Say it verbally and nonverbally
We’ve all experienced the situation where we ask someone how they’re doing and they say they’re good, but their body language says opposite. They can avoid eye contact, wear a blank expression on their face, tap their foot, and speak in an aggressive manner. The truth is that we don’t trust someone who sends mixed signals like this. We find it disconcerting. It discourages our ability to establish trust.
Make sure you have a friendly and composed tone of voice and an open and friendly facial expression. If you do this, you are indicating to the other person that you are happy to communicate with them.
How to get your friends to like you
When it comes to friendship, there are psychological tricks to get your friends to like you. Read on for insights that will lift your current friendships in a new level — and will help you form better relationships.
- Appear more often
People tend to like others who they are familiar with, according to the mere-exposure effect. Psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women to pose as students in a university psychology class to demonstrate this phenomenon. Each woman attended class on a different number of occasions. When students were shown pictures of the four women, they displayed a stronger preference for the women they’d seen more often in class, despite the fact that they hadn’t interacted with any of them.
- Be brave to be vulnerable
Admitting your flaws makes you more likeable. People usually work them out on their own. Of course, you should avoid acting helpless or sharing your concerns with anyone you meet. It’s fine to go to a meeting at work and start talking about the problems you’re having. People are more inclined to provide suggestions, offer assistance, and even touch you on the back.
- Smile more often
Since we become conscious and move out of our preoccupation when we smile, it’s a kind of visual teaching. Try to smile, no matter how you interact with others. Your inner and outer smile will be felt by the person you’re interacting with, whether you’re connecting face-to-face, through Twitter, email, talk, Skype, or phone.
- Send out your positive energy
When people’s moods are heavily affected by the moods of others, this is known as emotional contagion. People can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them. That may be because we naturally imitate others’ gestures and facial expressions, making us feel closer to what they’re feeling, according to the authors of the study. If you want to make people happy while they’re around you, try to express positive feelings as much as possible.
- See the good in people
We are all flawed in some way. We all have characteristics that make living with us challenging. It’s possible to get caught up in the difficulties. Look for what is healthy and solid instead. If you find your friends dwelling on the negative, remind yourself that you, too, have flaws.
- Tell them your secrets and keep their secrets
One of the most effective relationship-building techniques is self-disclosure.
You can use this strategy when getting to know someone on your own. For example, you can progress from simple questions (such as the most recent movie they saw) to learning about the people that are most important to them in their lives. When you share personal details with others, they are more likely to feel connected to you and want to confide in you in the future.
Besides of that, researchers from the University of Florida, Arizona State University, and Singapore Management University discovered that people esteem both trustworthiness and trustingness in their relationships in two experiments. When people imagined their ideal friend and employee, those two characteristics were particularly significant.
How to get your friends to like you romantically over text
The most important piece of advice for messaging someone you find attractive, whether you’ve just met them or have known them for a long time, is to have fun. Keep your messages lighthearted and playful at all times. The trick to getting someone to like you over text is to make them smile and light up when they see your message.
You may hear a lot about playing hard to get or be the one ending the conversation first, This advice may somehow effects on your friends psychologically at the beginning. But there is nothing to do with tricks when it comes to genuine relationship. Let’s see what you can do to make someone likes you romantically on text.
- Be bold: It’s not about what you give them but how you send it. Never complain and always be vulnerable, kind, and positive. If they don’t respond right away, assume they are just busy and that they get back to you soon enough. Put your faith in yourself.
- Avoid closed questions: Don’t text questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no if you want to start a conversation that leads to a date. Instead, ask a question that requires them to clarify. The more time they spend contacting you, the more likely it is that they would want to meet.
- Make a joke: Making fun of yourself in a tongue-in-cheek way is a surefire way to get someone to smile over text. You get them laughing and show them that it’s okay to let their guard down by making fun of yourself. They’ll become more drawn to you and they’ll feel more at ease with you.
- Make fun of them too: Don’t be afraid to make a playful, good-natured joke about someone you’re texting. Teasing others not only makes them laugh, but it also demonstrates that you aren’t a jerk. Simply teasing will show your confidence, which will aid in the attraction process.
- Don’t be a texter for too long: Remember, your goal is a date, not a texting buddy. Once your messages have stirred up their attention, don’t be afraid to call them. Many people are afraid to talk, but it is the most effective way to stand out and pique their interest.
How to maintain friendship
Whatever the case may be, friendship should be treated like any other type of relationship. You must treat it well if you do not want it to fail. Take note of the following suggestions if you want to keep and maintain your current friendships.
- Make time for them and show your gratitude more often
We may often cross lines or fail to express appreciation because of the familiarity and comfort we feel with another person. We must make time to make genuine contact with friends, just as we must with a partner, family, children, or relatives, in order for the relationship to thrive. When we fall into a routine, we are more likely to take our friends for granted.
Be sure to say what you’re thinking and do things that demonstrate how much you know and care for them. Happiness is found in generosity. A good friend is interested in who we are and what we are going through, but it’s important not to let the relationship become one-sided or self-centered.
Take the opportunity to practice kindness and consideration for your mates. Carry out behavior that they would consider loving. When thinking of a way to say thank you, think of their hobbies and passions.
- Be honest
When you get to know someone well, you become familiar of both their strengths and weaknesses. So, just as you know how to make them happy, you also know how to make them sad. We can let things slip out in times of stress that are even more hurtful to our closest friends because they come from us.
We are all full of flaws. We’re all bound to make mistakes from time to time, but when we do, we must put our pride aside and work to rectify the situation. Being truthful does not imply being cruel. Maintaining a level of trust between you and a friend involves finding a balance where you can say what you think without judgmental.
Be brave to apologize when you make a mistake. Make sure your friend knows that you are not trying to hurt or punish them. Explain what went wrong and what you mean when you apologize. And don’t be afraid to reach out; we’ve all known or been a part of groups of friends that haven’t spoken in months because no one wants to admit fault. Time is valuable and should not be wasted, particularly when it comes to the people who bring us happiness.
- Don’t put too high expectation and take it personally
We will start to put such standards on others in any relationship, which can lead to us being hurt or upset. Don’t be so easy to judge your friends. Accept the fact that they are human and can make mistakes sometimes.
We may express our friendship in a variety of ways, including love, favors, and gifts, but we shouldn’t expect the same in return. Instead of assuming what your mates are thinking, ask them. Accept that you may be mistaken about their point of view—every person has their own mind and views of the world. They can communicate their feelings or show that they care in very different ways as a result.
- Choose compassion over things
Is it better to being right or being kind? When you get to know someone, you learn about their flaws, and it’s easy to become cynical about certain aspects of their personality. Being loving is much more preferable. Instead of being tough and guarded, or viewing the world through a negative filter, compassion makes us vulnerable.
Compassion, on the other hand, is its own reward because it makes us feel good about ourselves regardless of how a friend is acting. Perhaps the most important characteristic of a good friend is being genuine and truthful without being cynical.
All in all, friendship is just as important as other relationship in human life. You probably don’t know how to get your friends to like you at the beginning, don’t rush and force anyone to like you right away. Be a better version of yourself and give true friendship time to come your way. Give us a like if you find this article helpful and return more often for relationship tips.