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You can’t always tell if your roommate is toxic right off the bat, especially if you’ve never experienced it. So, how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand? Find out with BestLifeTips now.
I Can’t Stand My Roommate Anymore
In recent years, the young tend to move out for some reason. They often choose to live in an apartment in a big city with other roommates whom they may or may not have known before.
According to a study from real estate website Trulia (via Chicago Tribune), the average renter living in most major cities can save 13% of their salary just by living with roommates for sharing increased living expenses and other payables.
However, not all roommates are suitable for living together. Sometimes it’s not just a matter of how good or bad roommates are, but just how incompatible your lifestyles are.
It’s a pity if anything bad happens that makes you think about how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand. Below are few signs that you can’t stand your roommates:
My Roommate Stresses Me Out
According to relationship expert Alexis Nicole White, “any time you have continuous situations that create fear, resentment, and anger regarding a violation of respect, wishes, and simple requests.” This is related to the cause of emotional stress in the long term.
Have you found how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand when you are just being at home with her/him at the same time?
Your stress, sometimes expressed in silly ways, like constantly hearing the same song on repeat that she hates or not cleaning your room just the way your roommate prefers?
Even though you are constantly trying to find reasons not to be home. Maybe you feel similar to Nicole Richardson, LPC-S, LMFT. He once said: “Often, when our relationship with our roommate is difficult we either dread being home and/or find ourselves looking for reasons not to leave our bedrooms.”.
All of that can turn into a nightmare if you really can’t figure out how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand or get out of. We can say that your stress is the most obvious sign which points out that your living situation isn’t good for you.
You’re Not Sleeping Well
In a 2013 study published in Psychology Reports, disturbances in the room were the main reason 76 college students in the Midwest cited for not getting enough sleep. In particular, all the participants shared a dorm room with one other person.
Compared to staying at home with relatives, in a self-governing environment outside with roommates of the same age, you will often encounter some bad habits such as dancing, noisy parties or just working the night shift.
It’s understandable that you have trouble sleeping in environments like this, even if you have your own room. So, why don’t you think of how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand in this case?
Source: USA Today
Your Productivity Is Suffering
Of course, if you must study and work in a toxic environment, you cannot develop your talents and speed up productivity. Poor quality of sleep and foul mood are also things that can easily affect your work productivity.
The Green-eyed Monster Appears
We all know that envy creates an unnecessary tension that can spawn conflict. It can be a problem regardless of whether your roommate is green with envy to you or even jealous of you. At this point, should you think about how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand?
It’s obviously OK to feel these feelings. However, if you’re having a hard time coping with your envious roommate’s and it s manifesting as resentment, then it might be worth reconsidering clearly.
Your Personality Is Changing
Both you and your roommate have distinct personalities. If you find your personality changing a bit after living with someone, it might mean that you’re trying to figure out how to integrate into them.
However, some day, if you don’t really like the way you’re changing or you don’t realize who you are, it might be a vastly negative sign leading to the possibility of thinking of how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand.
How to Deal with a Roommate You Can’t Stand
How to deal with a lazy roommate
Anyone can become lazy out of habit, your roommate, too. If that’s not in her nature, it could be a sign that your roommate is feeling bored, lonely, or having trouble with something.
If things haven’t reached the point where you’re constantly nauseous or you have to force yourself to think about how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand, don’t judge.
You can handle it in a few ways:
- Invite your friends out to eat or hang out to get rid of the boredom and talk about the problems they are having.
- Explain your difficulties and ask your roommate to help clean up the common space more actively.
- Devise tasks clearly and your roommate will complete his or her part of the assigned schedule.
- Use a professional cleaning service for quick fixing.
The most important thing about how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand because of their laziness is a pleasant talk. It is always better to speak out than to keep grievances quiet.
How to deal with irritating roommates
You moved out and met an irritating roommate? Have you applied how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand in this case? Here are some tips for how to deal with irritating roommate:
Talk and understand your roommate’s mentality, as with your lazy roommate. When you get to know her better, it will be easier for you to come up with appropriate behavioral options. Specifically, ask if you have any habits that annoy him, if you change for your roommate, he/she will definitely try to be less irritable.
Division of work
Task planning and deciding by whom general cleaning work they will carry out and kept for all jobs. This will make things easier between the two of you.
Find other options
If you’ve tried all sorts of tricks to change your roommate’s irritability but they still haven’t made a positive change, it’s better to change where you live or your roommate to avoid negative effects on your mindfulness.
Source: Study in the USA
Roommate won’t compromise
It is difficult to apply these above methods of how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand if he or she won’t compromise. If he neither compromises on multiple occasions nor listens to you, it’s also not worth trying to prove any further.
The best way is to stop living with your roommate. If the apartment is rented in your name, notify your roommate for him to move out. He has 30 days to move out. Conversely, if the apartment is rented to both of you, then notify him of your departure.
How to deal with a roommate who hates you
How do you tell if your roommate hates you?
Out of communication
This is the most obvious sign when your roommate doesn’t like you. When the two of you stop talking, or even worse, when all communication is just over text through a brief text message on your phone or a sticker on the fridge.
Avoid to facing you
Your relationship with your roommate seems to have broken, but not too obvious. They often stay outside or find some excuse not to come back to their room and face you. They also do not reply to the messages you have sent.
Your frequent irritability for no reason
If they don’t like you, any actions you take can make them angry. They also outline any restrictions on sharing with you. Specifically, makeup that they previously shared with you but now require permission to use.
How to deal with a roommate who hates you
Here, first, you need to make sure that he/she really hates you. Every action has its cause. Sometimes your roommate behaves negatively towards you for no reason, but they certainly have some reason to hate you.
After making sure they really hate you, give both of you a little time by ignoring or avoiding each other. If you can find a reason they hate you, try to change during this time.
However, if their attitude remains the same, it is better to quickly find a new roommate. It’s your room anyway, it’s really not worth it when you have to live forever in such an unhappy atmosphere.
How to deal with a roommate who is inconsiderate
If you have a roommate who isn’t attentive, you’re not alone. So it’s not too important. How to deal with a roommate you can’t stand who is inconsiderate?
In the most polite way possible, hold a conversation without accusations. Also, don’t let your problems with them snowball until you explode. If you’re not happy with the way they’re acting, then you need to let them know.
Otherwise, they may not know what they are doing wrong and will continue to act in exactly the same way. This binary method will not be used in the method for how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand but also strengthens your relationship.
How to Avoid Roommates Conflict
Conflict is something no one wants. So, to avoid yourself falling into this situation of having to find the answer to how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand, you need to apply a few tips below:
Find the right roommate
This is definitely a prerequisite. When you’re with the right person, it’s very difficult for conflicts to arise that you can’t stand. However, finding a good roommate can be a big challenge.
A wise tip for you is to ask in-depth questions to make sure they’ll be a great fit as your roommate, in case you have multiple choices.
Setting boundaries early in your relationship with your roommate will prevent conflicts. Don’t forget that these rules should ensure that everyone has an opinion.
Besides honesty, respect is always needed in your relationship. Instead of acting aggressively, try to make things constructive.
Be a good roommate
To avoid conflict, you need to be a good roommate and someone other people want to live with. When you behave well, your roommate will be good too, thus creating a healthy living space.
Source: Adobe Stock
How to Deal with Roommate Problems
Just find out how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand? Not enough. In order to have a healthy living environment as well as avoid pointless conflicts, you also need to solve the outstanding problems ahead.
Here are some simple guidelines to ease your problems with your roommate:
- Assess the impact of your troubles to decide whether to report to your roommate.
- Try to find a solution on your own if it’s a relatively minor or rare problem.
- Give each other free time to discuss issues instead of complaining and getting angry immediately.
- Put yourself in your roommate’s shoes. They can sometimes have unresolved problems that lead to negative behaviors or personalities.
- Are you that convenient friend who are available all the time when anyone asks for help?
- Can we have true friends at work? 7 ground rules if you want to make someone yours
BestLifeTips have given you these above keys for how to deal with a roommate you can’t stand. Let’s share if you find it meaningful.