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Having special feelings for a coworker is very common. It just matters on how you express those feelings. BestLifeTips will share with you some best tips on how to ask a coworker out casually without being impolite or constituting sexual harassment.
Is asking a coworker on a date harassment?
Before getting to know how to ask a coworker out casually, you need to notice the way you ask so that your invitation is not a sexual harassment.
According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), “Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.”
In most situation, asking a coworker on a date is not harassment. Some companies have policies that ban or discourage dating between coworkers, but there is no law that forbids it.
If you asked a coworker out or you were asked out by a coworker or supervisor politely, and then nothing bad happens, that is not harassment.
On the other hand, if the coworker or supervisor continues to ask you out, hints that accepting or declining the date could affect your job standing, or have some verbals or physical conducts of a sexual nature toward you, then it may constitute sexual harassment.
So how to ask a coworker out casually? Keep reading the article to find out!
How to ask a coworker out casually?
Source: Casanova Style
If you have a crush at your workplace, and you really want to ask her out, don’t be shy and give it a try. No matter your invitation is accepted or not, at least you tried your best. Here are some tips on how to ask a coworker out casually:
Understand more about your coworker
You need to find out a lot of unknown things about your crush, such as are they single? How do they feel about you? Does your company allow relationships among coworker?
Solve these questions to see should you ask your worker out or not. If yes, how to ask them out casually.
Dress your sharpest, put on a little perfume, comb your hair, shave your face/apply a little makeup. Look in the mirror to see how you look. Dressing up will help you to have a positive energy and make a good impression on other people, including your crush.
Choose an appropriate time
Choose the right time to ask them out. Ask them while they’re not busy, or during the lunch time.
Find a suitable place
Ask them out at a place he or she is comfortable in, such as a cafeteria, the water machine or the copy machine room. Make sure that when you approach your co-worker, it’s when he or she is alone and not surrounded by a group of people.
Find mutual interests
If you want to ask your coworker out successfully, you should know some of the same interests that you both have. Find out the type of music they listen, their favorite brand to wear, their favorite perfume, whether they have any pets. Common grounds make it much easier to break the ice.
Make them feel familiar with your presence
Talk to your coworker more often. You should keep the talks light and casual. Compliment their work or outfit, make small talk, or ask for their opinion on something.
When they are finally comfortable in your presence, take the final step.
Take the final step
The best way to ask your coworker out is to ask them in person instead of texting or phoning. Ask them face to face with sincere and confidence.
Simply ask whether they would want to hang out for a cup of coffee after work. Don’t ask immediately to go to dinner at a fancy place. Be patient!
And that’s how to ask a coworker out casually. If you have any other ideas, please leave a comment below.
How to ask a coworker out for drinks?
Another way for how to ask a coworker out casually is to ask them out for drinks after work. It’s a good idea to improve your working relationship or a good start for a romantic relationship.
Evaluate the relationship
Before asking them out for drinks after work, you should consider whether you really have that kind of relationship with him or her. If you two have developed a friendship while working together, that’s a normal thing to do together.
Choose the occasion
The most casual way to ask your coworker out for drinks is when you celebrate a coworker’s birthday, promotion, or his/her departure for a new job. There would be no awkwardness in these situations.
Make sure not to make a false impression
If you invite a new coworker, or someone you don’t regularly work with, to join you for a drink, avoid an invitation that appears unprofessional or looks like you’re hinting at a personal or romantic attraction. The best way to avoid giving others the wrong impression is to invite a group of colleagues to join you.
How to ask a coworker out for lunch?
Source: Men’s Complete Life
Asking a coworker out for lunch, especially a female coworker, can be a hit-or-miss situation. This is also a way on how to ask a coworker out casually. Here are some tips on asking a female coworker out for lunch:
Review company’s policy
You can get in trouble if your company bans or discourages relationships among coworkers. So before asking your coworker out for lunch, learn about your company’s policy on dating and sexual harassment at the office.
See whether your coworker is interested
Before asking your coworker out for lunch, try to talk to her and make her comfortable with your presence. Take notice of potential cues that she may be interested in or uninterested in your advances.
Signs of attraction include laughing, smiling, making eye contact, playing with her hair and leaning in toward you during the conversation. If your coworker breaks away from conversation with you, she does not make eye contact or otherwise distances herself from you, then she may be not interested.
Make it work related
Using work as an icebreaker might get your coworker to agree to a lunch date. If your work-related lunch went well and your coworker displayed signs that she might be interested in you, ask if she’d like to go to lunch outside of work.
Avoid being pushy
The line between asking your coworker out and sexual harassment can be thin. So be careful when asking her out and not to act on your desires. Avoid repeatedly asking her to lunch, invading her personal space. If she indicates that she is not interested in a date, thank her for her time and head back to your desk.
How to ask a male coworker out?
Tip on how to ask a coworker out casually is not only for man but also for women. Here are tips on how to ask a male coworker out for you:
Take a look at the situation
Same as other tips mentioned above, you should check the dating rules in your workplace first. Consider how your office culture would be affected if people know you’re dating.
Establish some sort of friendship first
Build a friendship with him first. Find out whether you two have anything in common and figure out if your personalities are compatible. If he seems genuinely excited or interested in your interactions, you can ask him out.
Be polite and considerate when asking him
Ask him out in a way that doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable. Avoid making sexual innuendos or behaving inappropriately. Approach him outside of work or in a communal setting like the lunch area. Don’t ask him out in front of other coworkers.
You’ve worked together for a while, so he probably knows how you usually are. You don’t have to act in another way or try to become a perfect one. Just be yourself and behave like you normally would and be respectful of boundaries at all times.
Know when to back off
Stay calm if he declines to out with you. Just smile and say something polite to smooth over the situation. If he says no, respect that and try not to take it personally.
How to flirt with a coworker?
Source: Vixen Daily
Having a crush on someone you work with is an awkward but common situation. Have you ever try to move things along and find out if they felt the same way? Here are some tips on how to flirt with a coworker subtly.
Know your company’s policy
Not every workplace allows relationships between coworkers. You need to know whether your company allows that. If it does, just make your move in a polite way.
Consider that if it goes wrong, can you overcome it?
If your coworker didn’t have the same feeling as yours, or he did but your relationship didn’t have a happy ending, can you overcome it and continue with your work?
Know that you and your coworker can become a couple or not, you see this person on a daily basis at work and that could be excruciating for you in some situations. This could be even worse if you must work very closely with this person.
So if you can stand that, make your decision and make a move.
How to flirt with a coworker in a subtle way?
Remember, learning how to flirt with a coworker is all about being subtle. Whether relationships are allowed in your workplace or not, you are being paid to be professional at work. Sodon’t go around being blatantly obvious about what you want.
You can do some body language and selective verbal clues such as:
- make eye contact when speaking
- bite your lip when listening to them talk
- show interest in what they say
- get them a coffee or a drink whenever you get one for yourself
- find out mutual hobbies or interest and focus on talking about them
Understand that only doing these if you find out that your coworker has interest in you, or else you will make them uncomfortable.
Once you’re sure that your coworker has got the idea that you’re flirting, and you see signs of flirting coming back your way, suggest a meeting outside of work.
Know how to back off
You can back out if they refuse. Focus on your work since that is your main duty at workplace. Don’t let anything affect your work performance.
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The line between asking your coworker out and sexual harassment can be thin. So you should be careful when asking a coworker out. Refer to the above tips on how to ask a coworker out casually to have the best result. Come back more to get helpful life tips from BestLifeTips.