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When a marriage is over, it can turn your world upside down and make it tough to get through the workday and stay productive. Read this post of BestLifeTips to find out how to get over a divorce you didn’t want.
Is it hard to get over a divorce you didn’t want?
To say the truth, no matter what the circumstances are, divorce is hard.
Divorce is a process that’s tough extremely from start to finish, and you can still feel depression for a long time after it happens. The residual confusion, self-blame, hurt, and even anger doesn’t just disappear once a divorce is finalized. Therefore, it is obvious that it is so hard to get over a divorce you didn’t want.
What are the five stages of a divorce you didn’t want?
Your emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages:
The process may be tough, however, try to overcome it. Let talk to someone to share, or even willing to seek help from an experienced, qualified mental health professional.
Remember, don’t let a divorce that you didn’t want bring you down. Time will be your greatest friend. Give yourself time to grieve. Things will get better!
Then, how to get over a divorce you didn’t want?
How to get over a divorce you didn’t want
Everyone has their own way of healing their soul after a divorce they didn’t want. However, if you got lost, try the following effective ways.
Talk it out
At the beginning of a divorce you didn’t want, you probably easily feel pressure, find a soulmate to share your feelings with.
Besides, talking with a professional therapist also can give you solid support. They will help you create space and time to grieve over your loss.
Embrace coping skills
Embrace coping skills help you to learn how to focus on positive self-care, self-soothing, and handle intense emotions.
Salvage your dreams
We all have certain compromises in our marriage. Think about the compromises you’ve made and whether they’re still on your mind, you are still passionate about them. Life after divorce is a perfect juncture to revisit your passions and dreams and make them a reality.
Nurture your kids
If you already have children, focusing on raising your kids is also one thing to help you get over a divorce you didn’t want.
There is a widespread belief in every human culture that children bring happiness. That will be no exception for you.
Avoid hanging on in desperation
Depression is most likely to happen to you at this time. However, try to avoid hanging on in desperation. Pick up a book, take the dog for a walk, or immerse yourself in the melodies at the coffee shop. Do everything you can to not feel alone.
Last but not least, don’t get frustrated in marriages just because you just had a divorce you didn’t want. Stay hopeful. Life is full of surprises!
Do most couples regret divorce?
Regret is very closely linked to grief and anger. It’s considered a natural part of recovering from the end of a marriage.
According to a study by U.K. law firm Seddons in 2016, 22% of the more than 800 participants wished they hadn’t ended their marriage.
These statistics on divorce regret show that the aftermath of ending a relationship can be an emotional and complicated one. Regret is common when you’re going through separation or divorce. However, what you need to do is listen to the honest words from your heart. Make sure that you are the person who makes the final decision without any external influence.
How long does it take to get over a divorce you didn’t want?
Focusing or fixating on the past with a regretful perspective is toxic and may land you in a state of bitterness that is much harder to undo. Therefore, it’s important for you to get over a divorce you didn’t want as soon as possible.
There is no definitive answer as to how long it takes to get over a divorce you didn’t want. It depends on too many factors.
Usually, it depends a lot on how many years your partner and you have been together. Some therapists say that it takes around one year for every five to seven years of marriage for you to fully get over a divorce you didn’t want and move on. Moreover, how deep your feelings for your partner also plays a heavy factor to guess how long does it take to get over a divorce you didn’t want.
How to start a new life after a divorce you didn’t want?
After a divorce you didn’t want, it’s essential to know how to start a new life, know how to make you recover.
Star a new life again after a divorce does involve freedom, but that freedom often leads to neglecting everything from your house to your responsibilities. Sit down and write down all the important chores you need to complete each week, even day, like cleaning up the house, food shopping, pick up a hobby, etc. Then set a time to do each.
Don’t rush into a new relationship
Many people going through a divorce jump too fast into a new relationship just because they fear being alone and want to get over a divorce as soon as possible. However, this is really a bad decision. Your new relationships must be built with love, not because you want to forget the old one.
Learn to cook
If you weren’t the main cook in your family, learning to cook is a great way to start a new life after a divorce.
Cooking is a pretty basic thing for single and independent life.
Toss out the old
The people and things that stick are the ones worth your continued focus. However, it’s time for you to say a healthy and self-loving goodbye to what no longer serves you well.
Through the article, BestLifeTips hopes you know more about how to get over a divorce you didn’t want. If you have anything want to share, feel free to comment below. Find more articles in BestLifeTips to brighten your day.