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We all have experienced rejection in some aspects in our lives, from job to love and everything in between. But being rejected romantically might be far more painful than missing out a promotion. Here’re things that can help you while dealing with romantic rejection. Let’s find out with BestLifeTips.
Why does romantic rejection hurt so much?
Being rejected by a potential romantic partner is definitely a painful experience. Especially when you have been fantasying about the instant chemistry or eternal love. According to a study about men’s reaction toward romantic rejection, their chance of responding violently to rejection increased substantially when sexual conquest was their goal of the relationship.
Or when a young kid doesn’t get her what she wants, she may act out or strike out at the caregiver who stands in the way of her desire. The caregiver should, in theory, enable the kid to communicate her feelings while simultaneously teaching her the difference between appropriate and inappropriate means of expressing dissatisfaction. You can’t always avoid a broken heart or a shattered ego from hurting, but we can all learn how to get through it without causing any harm to others.
By understanding the root of our pain toward rejection, we can stop it from draining us and destroying our feelings.
Dealing with romantic rejection
You won’t always be able to escape social and romantic rejection in your life, but you can take these opportunities to grow, learn more about yourself, and shape yourself into the person you want to be. We’ve listed some basic steps and aspects to bear in mind while you move through an unrequited love experience below.
Don’t take it personally
It’s just as much about the rejecter as it is about the requester when someone refuses a date or a relationship. There are a variety of personal reasons why someone would reject you on a date. Maybe their lives are stressful right now, or they’re already in a tangle of love emotions, or maybe the two of you just don’t match right now, but none of these implies that someone else won’t find you absolutely attractive later. Chemistry is a tough subject yet again. It’s not a question of who’s good enough to date and who doesn’t. Matching up with the right person at the right moment is quite difficult. It necessitates a lot of trial and error.
It’s no one’s fault
It’s totally okay to experience that pain, to sit with it for a time, to mourn the loss of our romantic feelings, but it’s important to remember that just because someone has hurt us doesn’t mean they have mistreated us in any way. It’s normal to feel as though we’ve been attacked when we’ve been injured, yet a love rejection isn’t an attack or crime. It hurts, but no one is to accuse. If the chemistry isn’t there, it’s because it’s not there.
It’s crucial to make sure you don’t say or do anything to make them feel guilty or to make them take responsibility for your suffering; it won’t help you feel any better.
Learn to accept it fully
Keep in mind that emotional distress and rage at rejection are totally natural responses to strange circumstances. No one enjoys being refused, but it happens more frequently in life than we would want.
The greatest thing you can say in this situation, for both yourself and the other person, is that you understand, that it was worth a try, and that you wish them the best. The more you show your compassion and kindness towards others, the better to treat yourself.
Turning someone down for a date, or breaking off a relationship, are not easy things to do. Most people don’t enjoy hurting someone else’s feelings and will go to great lengths to spare themselves that guilt or discomfort. So, when someone turns you down, try to meet them with compassion. This moment of rejection is difficult for both of you, and the best way to grapple with your own hurt feelings is to choose to be kind, to be understanding, and to be graceful and dignified. This is a chance to choose to be the best version of yourself.
Keep distance if necessary
Keeping distance between yourself and them can be difficult, especially if the person is a friend or someone you see regularly. However, getting some space may be exactly what you need right now, since you may find it difficult to take your mind off the painful episode otherwise. It’s always okay to let them know you need space to work through your emotions. It’s fine if this means hiding their Facebook postings for a while or canceling some social calls. Your mental and emotional well-being is your top priority right now.
Make yourself busy
Let’s sit with your emotions, but don’t stay there forever. It’s time for you to get out of your mind. Instead, immerse yourself in your hobbies. Get out and exercise in whichever way you choose. Pick up a new skill. Take up a new activity. Make up for lost time. Reconnect with old friends. When we occupy ourselves with hobbies and self-development during times like these, we not only distract ourselves from the blueness, but we also build ourselves up, grow in our own identities, and raise our self-esteem.
Be open with other potential relationship
Instead of allowing this one romantic rejection to fuel the anxiety we all have, try to see it as a chance to learn and grow. Consider this: the worst has just happened, and you’re still alive. Your life did not come to an end. Tomorrow is still coming. Choose to be bolder rather than more discouraged as a response of this. For a while, say yes to any social invites that come your way, and then go back out there. To identify the individuals who we truly connect with, we must continue in our search, keep seeking, and keep introducing ourselves. While you’re seeking for your person, someone else is looking for you as well.
How to respond to romantic rejection
It’s hurt and awkward at the same time when receiving a romantic rejection. But if we can handle it right, you would upgrade your image regardless of the result. Remember that the anger or disappointment feelings are normal, but you can take back the power and control the pain by saying in how you handle it.
Take a deep breathe
Taking slow, deep breaths can help to calm your nervous system, which is the major nerve responsible for the relaxation response. As a result, remaining calm will allow you to think and react more thoughtfully.
Spend time with yourself
Don’t do something that will make you regret later on. Excuse yourself and walk away to sit with your emotions for a while. Finding ways to heal your wound and fill up your life with new activities, relationships, hobbies and positivity.
Make it clear if you want to
If you have unsolved issues or questions that you feel you can’t address on your own, or if you just want to clarify things, try talking with them once you’ve completely accepted that it’s over. Make a commitment to yourself to always ask “why,” rather than becoming defensive, accusing, or blaming them. Knowing they no longer wants to be romantically engaged with you should always be at the forefront of your thoughts when asking the questions you’re looking for answers to.
Dealing with romantic rejection quotes
- I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.― Jeanette Winterson
- When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.― Shannon L. Alder
- I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.― Oprah Winfrey
- Rejection, though–it could make the loss of someone you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.― Deb Caletti
- When you’re following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first.― Kelly Cutrone
- Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.― Steve Maraboli
- Isn’t that the greatest tragedy? When someone rejects us, no matter how they abuse our love, we hope against reason that somehow they will come back to us.― Suzanne E. Anderson
- Rejection is a challenge.― Veronica Purcell
- Rejection is more valuable than inaction. All that I have learned until now has been because of rejections. Inaction didn’t teach me a thing.― Neeraj Agnihotri
- Rejection teaches you about where you stand. There is nothing wrong with that. When I look back at the time, I don’t regret being rejected, but I regret wasting years.― Neeraj Agnihotri
- There will always be disappointments and rejection in this game but that’s part of the writing journey, and everyone’s journey is different.― Sean Clarke
- Due to the trauma, we experience the fear of rejection, inadequacy, and/or the fear of powerlessness itself.― Kenny Weiss
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Many people find it difficult while dealing with romantic rejection. However, rejection from someone you love is an inevitable part of dating. It’s also something that helps you grow, something that allows you to feel heartbreak, something that reveals a new part of yourself and teaches you something new. Return BestLifeTips for more relationship advise.